Things to Consider When You First Get Engaged

Before diving into the details, it is important to set a clear vision for your wedding day. This will serve as your guiding star throughout the planning process. Sit down with your partner and discuss your ideas and priorities. Do you want a big, traditional wedding or an intimate, laid-back celebration? What are your non-negotiables—like the venue, the overall vibe, or the guest list? Having a clear vision will help you make decisions more easily as you move forward.

Unless you’re a wedding planner or event organiser, this is probably going to be the very first time you plan a party this big. So, I’m guessing you’ll probably need some help along the way, and this is where we come in! Our platform is a pretty good place to start your planning journey. We have a wonderful collection of 600+ curated venues for you to peruse on our Venue Finder, but we also have a plethora of expert advice waiting to be explored!

Under ‘Planning Advice’ in the main menu, you’ll find our Venue Search Tips, Planning Tips by Katrina Otter Weddings, and a list of Suppliers We Love. You’ll also find inspiration and advice on the journal in a beautiful browsable feed.

This is the first wedding planning headache you’re probably going to experience.

Your budget will influence every decision you make, from the venue to the guest list to the dress. Setting a realistic budget early on will help you avoid overspending and ensure that your wedding is both beautiful and affordable. Start by determining how much you can comfortably spend. If applicable, consider contributions from family members. Break down your budget into categories—venue, catering, attire, flowers, etc.—and allocate funds to each. Keep a buffer for unexpected expenses. We have many articles that cover money, but you might find the articles linked at the end helpful.

I think it would be remiss of us to chat about the importance of budgets, how to start the planning, and, of course, get you excited about beginning the venue search without being very aware that a wedding can be a significant outgoing, and during the ongoing climate this could be a real concern. Caitlin has written a great article about how you can look after your budget and make it stretch that little bit further – so have a read here.

I don’t mean you need to choose an exact date right now, but I think it’s essential to consider the seasons, how this might affect your budget and any key dates important to you or your family. If we’d spent more than five minutes on this subject, I would have suggested a beautiful autumnal wedding in October (the best month to marry if you ask me!). Still, we married on the hottest day, 15 days before my husband’s birthday in August. Our first planning fail and one I remind him of each anniversary.

The venue search is all kinds of stressful because there’s so much pressure to find the ‘perfect’ venue, so I’ll let you into a secret that will hopefully help prevent some of that stress… There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ venue.

Yes, I said it. It’s best to get it out there.

Venue hunting is challenging and quite an emotional first purchase for your wedding. And whilst we adore every venue in our collection, you still need to be prepared for compromises, negotiating and possibly some hiccups. We’ve written about this several times across this website, but you can find some basics on our Venue Search Tips page and some helpful articles by Caitlin.

My best advice is to think about what’s important to you on the day. What do you need from your venue? Supplier flexibility? Accommodation for all your guests? Good transport links? An hour from London? Narrow it down to your essentials and nice-to-haves. Then have fun planning your romantic road trips, and get out and visit some beautiful venues if you can!

Look out for upcoming open days and showcases, too! It’s a great way to explore your venue in more detail, and they might even have some of their incredible suppliers there to chat with. If you can’t currently visit your shortlisted venues, many venues offer virtual venue tours over Zoom or WhatsApp, so get in touch to see if this is an option.

If managing all the details feels overwhelming, a wedding planner can be a lifesaver, and there are plenty of options out there to fit varying budgets, from on-the-day help to full planning. They can take the stress out of planning, offer expert advice, and help you stay on track.

Research wedding planners in your area or the area where you’d like to get married and set up initial consultations. Discuss your budget, vision, and any concerns. A good wedding planner will listen to your needs, be honest when you need a dose of reality, and provide a tailored service to help you ultimately create the wedding you want.

This means whatever you want it to mean, whatever inspires you.

I spent most of my pre-wedding year down a Pinterest-shaped rabbit hole. It’s a brilliant source of inspiration, but please remember it’s just that! What you see will undoubtedly be beautiful styled shoots or weddings where the budget might not reflect your own. Creating moodboards to share with your chosen suppliers is really helpful, but always be guided by your budget and the supplier about what can and can’t be achieved.

Instagram; it’s a place where you can easily engage directly with wedding venues/suppliers and see their latest weddings and projects. However, don’t just scroll through all the pretty images; read the captions to ascertain whether the pictures the supplier shares are their own work (or AI generated). This important point could influence your decision-making when searching for suppliers.

Be patient when you reach out to venues and suppliers over the next few days and weeks. As they emerge from their busy summer season, many just-engaged folks are landing in their inboxes.

Also, social media inboxes are messy, so don’t be tempted to message venues or suppliers there – it’s super hard for them to a) respond or b) keep track of their couples and enquiries. Instead, head to their website and explore – do they have their pricing and brochure available to view first? If you can’t find what you’re looking for, or you love what you see and want to know if they’re available, then message them through their desired comms – this could be an online form or an email.

Let’s face it: when you announce your engagement, everyone will want to know: a) are they invited and b) do they have a key role? However, pause right there! Don’t feel pressured into making any decisions too soon. Yes, it’s lovely that your friends and family want to be a part of your big day, but it’s also important you take the time to make the right decisions now to avoid any future headaches.

Choosing your wedding party is also very much tied into your budget as you’ll no doubt want to kit them out in some fancy gear or put them up for a night or two at your chosen venue. So once you’ve had this sensible money chat, work out who you want to be standing by your side on your biggest days.

With so many details to manage, staying organised will help you keep track of everything and reduce stress. Get a wedding planning binder or use digital tools like spreadsheets and planning apps to keep everything in one place. Make a timeline and checklist of key tasks and set reminders for when things need to be done. Regularly review your budget and guest list to ensure everything is on track.

You don’t need to have planned your whole wedding in the first 24 hours of being engaged! Or even the first week, month or year! The key to getting engaged is to ensure you enjoy your journey; it’s a chance to create memories with your partner, family, and friends as you prepare for one of the most special days of your life.

Take breaks when needed, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Remember that this day is about celebrating your love, so focus on what truly matters. Schedule fun planning activities like cake tastings, venue visits, or just getting away from it all! A pre-wedding mini-moon, if you will.

Take time planning your celebration and remain in that just-engaged bubble for as long as you want. We’ll be here waiting to help when you want to find that venue.