It’s a crucial turning point in the energy of your wedding. And, it’s the one element that distinguishes the day. Without a wedding ceremony, it’s still a celebration, but with less of an anchor around your relationship. The guest experience, their journey through your event, is top of many couples’ minds. Many of you have major concerns about the ceremony. Length worries, niggles about tone, fear of people being bored and stress about traditions. But, most of all, feelings about making such an intimate, personal section into the heartbeat of your wedding vision.
My name is Eleanor Willock, and I am a wedding celebrant in Somerset, where elegant, sophisticated multi-day weddings in heritage and countryside venues are plentiful. Today, I’m sharing how to create a cinematic ceremony experience as part of that vision, focusing on guest involvement, capturing their imagination and relating it to their own lives and their interactions with the couple, and keeping the content sophisticated and elegant. How can you take your modern, inwardly experienced but outwardly visible love story and deliver it as the central focal point of this guest experience, melding tradition with perfectly placed personalisation? And how can we tie it to the overall guest experience on your wedding day? Read on, as we explore what this looks like in practice…
The ceremony is a wonderful opportunity to set the tone for your day. Your behaviour with each other and your demeanour in your ceremony sets the tone, and the way you celebrate your own love story gives your guests permission to mirror your vibe.
Bespoke wedding and experience planner Lavinia Stewart-Brown, founder of Stewart-Brown Events, sees the ceremony as the foundation of the guest experience, and one worthy of careful consideration.
“Traditionally, the ceremony opens the day and establishes the energy, and that structure still works beautifully. However, modern weddings are evolving. We recently worked with a couple who chose to meet guests at a pub for drinks before the ceremony, and it created a wonderfully relaxed atmosphere. That first round of congratulations, great entertainment and the first toast to the newlyweds is where the party truly begins.”
A memorable ceremony for guests starts with choosing a celebrant who genuinely understands the couple and can tell their story in a personal way. I’ll always recommend someone who is a natural fit. When those choices reflect who you are, guests feel part of something real.” – Lavinia Stewart-Brown
If you have things to say, tell the story in your own words. Your guests want to hear your voices running through every thread of the day. Writing personalised wedding vows is a must, whether you whisper them between you or answer them as ‘I dos’ in a section with your officiant. You’ll book your celebrant a year in advance, and during that year, take every opportunity to tell them who you are and enable them to make your ceremony into a glorious, semi-autobiographical series of vignettes which delight your guests into tears and laughter.
At Earnshill House in Somerset, Katie, Founder of Milkshed Wedding and Events, helped one couple create a beautiful moment for each guest.
“At a recent summer wedding, the couple wrote handwritten notes to each of their guests instead of putting favours on the tables. The notes each included details of how the couple knew the guest, and their favourite memory with them – it sparked beautiful conversations on each of the tables and was a lovely way for guests to get to know each other as they shared their memories”. – Katie, Milkshed Weddings & Events
Your ceremony should be an active place for guests, not a passive experience. Think beyond the standard, asking a friend to read a poem (side note here: if you have to pause and think of either the friend, or the poem, you don’t actually want either, do something else). This year, I’ve surprised couples with guest experiences, such as asking them, pre-ceremony, to hold up cards with their dearest wishes for the couple’s futures to show them how loved they are. I’ve hidden wedding rings under chairs to create secret ringbearers and make stars of friends. One of the nicest ways to surround yourself with shared love for you is to ask your guests to make commitments to you, too. Yelling out ‘we will’ in happy unison is much preferable to mumbling a hymn nobody really knows, it seems.
Away from your ceremony, you can help people bond by creating a seating plan that shows folks what they have in common, encouraging connection. If you’re having a weekend wedding, hand-create bespoke agendas that give people the ‘why’, not just a timeline to show up for. Ensure people know why they are there and why you have included the details you have.
Back at Earnshill House, Katie at Milkshed has some ideas:
“A bespoke menu can be another perfect way to draw in guests together as part of the celebrations. Maybe, the canapés are each chosen to honour different people, or the wedding breakfast is tailored so that shared meals with loved ones can be represented through each of the courses: a signature dish from a family holiday in Tuscany, canapés from a tapas meal on a big uni trip with friends, or a dessert from a restaurant that the couple always go to at home. A written menu on the tables can help to tell the story, or photos of the shared happy times can take it another step further. Guests can also be celebrated through personalised drinks; one of our brides requested a range of drinks at the bar to cover every single guest’s favourite tipples!” – Katie, Milkshed Weddings & Events
If you want your wedding event to be memorable, cultivate the ability for guests to journey through the experience in their own way. It needn’t be a ‘we’ll be doing this, so you must do that’ scenario. Venues and suppliers that truly value guest experience don’t try to minimise your need to personalise.
Georgia Baxter, events director at Somerset’s North Cadbury Court, feels that it’s not up to your venue to control guest experience; it should be a shared vision.
“Guest experience is absolutely something we care deeply about, but we don’t believe it’s something the venue dictates; it’s something we create together. Our couples set the tone, and we’re here to help them bring their vision to life in a way that feels effortless and welcoming for everyone who walks through the door.” – Georgia, North Cadbury Court
Make sure you showcase everything you’ve worked so hard to choose and give everybody ample opportunity to enjoy it. Celebrants like me often offer MC services too. Use your MC to tell a story, not just signal a change in room or the start of a moment. They can signpost the things you’d love guests to savour, such as a live illustrator you’ve commissioned, or the flavours of your cake and why you chose them.
Create a sophisticated set of experiences to be enjoyed at leisure, and ensure there are people there that you trust to represent you well to guide them through. Instead of specifying a cocktail hour for guests while you have photography, you could cut your cake and have afternoon tea instead. You could ask your venue to create a bespoke tour of the gardens with drinks to collect on the way. Consider having more comfortable seating and shade than you think you will need. People like hideaway corners and secluded spots – give folks somewhere to gather.
Georgia of North Cadbury Court continues:
“Some of the best guest experiences this year have come from the simplest, most thoughtful touches. We’ve seen couples create brilliant welcome stations with drinks and nibbles as guests arrive, handwritten notes on pillows and late-night snacks waiting after the dancing. Things that make people feel genuinely looked after.
“We also love seeing couples build in moments that bring everyone together. Things like a brunch the morning after with all guests to share memories of the day before, a friendly tennis tournament, or a relaxed welcome barbecue on the first evening.” – Georgia, North Cadbury Court
It goes without saying that your experience is the most important here, but when you begin to think about guest experience, consider the following:
- Once you’ve planned your ideal wedding day or weekend, pick three guests of different profiles. Imagine them experiencing the event, from start to finish. Metaphorically walk through it with them to identify where you truly need to focus.
- Think about the voices you’d like to hear during your ceremony. If you have parents, particularly mothers, whom you’d love to include but you know are too self-conscious to speak or read, ask your celebrant to speak to them and include their thoughts instead. It makes for an absolutely heart-melting experience for both parties.
- Have a ‘cards on the table’ discussion about potentially high-needs guests and what reasonable adjustments you can make which don’t colour your feelings on particular moments. For example, are you happy to give guests with hearing difficulties a print-out of your ceremony so that they don’t struggle to hear you? Could you give a relative with strong opinions a small, useful wedding job, such as ensuring everyone has confetti, which will make them feel valued and heard?
- Brief your team – from bridesmaids to planners – on what you want people to feel, not just what you want them to do, and include things you want them to see, and not see. If you want people to taste the cake flavours you have chosen, make sure someone ensures this happens. If you don’t want people to see your nerves as you walk down the aisle, ask your celebrant to make sure guests stay seated when you do.
