How to Personalise Your Wedding Vows

Written by Lottie Dainton
2020 has been all about adapting your wedding blueprint and we’ve loved seeing how couples have taken the opportunity to really make their celebrations unique.

With that in mind, today we’re talking all about how you can add a personal touch to your ceremony by writing your own vows. Personalised vows are incredibly special as they haven’t already been created for you – they come from within and are spoken with true meaning. With a helping hand from our panel of pros, (hola at Lauren Stone Wedding Celebrant, Andri Benson Celebrant + Planner, AVE Creations and Jennifer Patrice Celebrant), we’ve put together some handy advice to help you get started.

It’s time to put pen to paper…

Lauren Stone Humanist Wedding Celebrant

Lauren Stone is a Humanist Wedding Celebrant based in London and has been a part of numerous ceremonies during her time in the industry. We knew this feature wouldn’t be complete without some super helpful (and rather lovely) tips and tricks for nailing your wedding vows.

I always tell my couples to think about what they write in terms of years; these words have to not only be meaningful today, but also be relevant in five, ten, twenty years. They should be words that you are delighted to celebrate every single year, perhaps a safe space to return to if things ever get tough, words that comfort you and hold you steady. You need to think about what your partner really means to you, how you support each other, the true reasons why you ‘work’ as a partnership. What can you realistically promise to this amazing human being?

I often recommend that you also include one or two more light-hearted promises – perhaps an in-joke that only you two understand? These smaller, intimate parts of your relationship should be celebrated just as much as the big stuff. I always get my couples to send me their vows in secret so that I can read both of them over and ensure they are consistent in length and sentiment. It’s rare that they ever need amending!”

Andri Benson Ceremonies

Owner of Always Andri Wedding Design and Andri Benson Ceremonies, Andri knows a thing or two about celebrant-led ceremonies and her advice is an absolute gem! If you’re suffering with writers-block, this lady can certainly offer a few ideas to get the words flowing onto the page…

“Don’t try to plough straight into writing your vows. It will really help if you take some time to reflect on your relationship together first. A good structure for your vows is to think of it in terms of past, present and future. You can then use these answers to build out your vows:

  • Past: How you met, memorable moments, milestones.
  • Present: What’s your day-to-day life like? How do you enjoy spending time together? What are the little things you love about each other? You can add a few little annoying things too if you want to add a touch of humour!
  • Future: Your hopes and dreams going forward – what kind of life do you want to have together?

Vows don’t need to be an essay or a grand declaration. They can be a simple list of meaningful promises to each other; just speak from the heart.”

AVE Creations

Assumpta of AVE Creations is a Multi-Cultural Wedding Planner and is renowned for creating luxurious, memorable and meaningful celebrations. She has carved a well-respected reputation within the wedding industry and has been a part of some of the most stunning ceremonies – including those with personalised wedding vows!

Here are Assumpta’s quick tips;

“It’s very important that you choose your words carefully, by that I mean – how formal or informal do you want to be? If your ceremony has a spiritual element to it, or if there will be children present, then I would not recommend using profanity. Also, many people use the internet for inspiration and ‘borrow’ the words of others without considering if it actually sounds like them. Try to re-word, avoid clichés and stay authentic to yourself and your voice.

Lastly, if there is a time to express what is truly in your heart, it’s now so be sincere! Your wedding is a celebration of your love and relationship thus far, so feel free to do this with reckless abandon.

Jennifer Patrice – Celebrant

When it comes to personalising your wedding vows, Jennifer Patrice is able to offer endless advice on how you can make sure they’re a reflection of your personality (without being too wordy) and to ensure they mean the world. Over to you Jennie…

When thinking about your vows remember that they are at the centre of your ceremony. It’s your chance to look at each other and make the most important pledge of your relationship. Keep what you want to say secret from each other, family and friends so that no-one lets the cat out of the bag before your big day.

Aim for between 100-150 words but there are no hard and fast rules. Be yourself. Be personal, but not too personal, remember your parents/grandparents will be there, talk about the traits that you love about each other, your hopes and dreams for the future.

Show your personality; inject some fun or be mushy, or a combination of the two. Maybe use the words from a poem or lyrics from a song (the one that will be your first dance maybe) that means something to you both. Whatever you decide just be you.”

Main Image Credits

Venue Royal Botanic Gardens Kew

Photography Rebecca Goddard Photography

Celebrant Andri Benson Ceremonies

Wedding Planner Liz Linkleter

Flowers Vervain Floral Design

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