How to Plan Your Wedding as a Team

This has been, without a shadow of a doubt, our busiest year to date (I say our, I mean me, Katrina Otter Weddings, and my incredible team), and I’m relieved, thrilled, and absolutely shattered in equal measures. But it’s been worth every single second of it, especially seeing so many of our (COVID postponed) couples finally being able to have the celebrations they’ve been waiting so long for.

My previous feature, Top Tips for Planning an Outdoor Wedding, seems like a world away now, back when we were desperately arming ourselves with fans instead of umbrellas and mulling over whether the bar had enough ice to keep everyone’s drinks cool, especially during the August heatwave. And, as we swiftly move into the cooler and cosier months, my latest feature is all about putting the focus back on you and your partner.

Planning a wedding can be stressful; excuse my lack of sugar-coating. It can. It forces two individuals to pool their values, tastes and hard-earned money into one momentous day. Emotions are bound to run high as you work your way through your priorities (AND other people’s priorities, ahem!) and a never-ending to-do list. Communication is key (my first point below), which I honestly can’t emphasise enough – keep the conversations flowing, be honest and above all, try to enjoy the process.

Regardless of how long you’ve been together, I can guarantee you’ll exchange vows on your wedding day as a stronger, more unified team. Yes, there will probably be some bumps to navigate along the way (you’re only human!), but working through these, being forced to have frank, honest conversations, and practising compromise in everyday tasks will set you in good stead for your next chapter as newlyweds.

Ready to tackle wedding planning in the healthiest way possible? Of course, you are! Let’s begin…

Communication is key

Yep, I told you, it’s vital. If you take one nugget from this feature, please let it be this. As a team, sit down early in the planning process, and talk about your likes, dislikes, budget parameters and priorities, and who’s planning what and their level of involvement. These open and honest conversations (from the get-go) will be the making of your wedding day.

Don’t make assumptions

Your partner might not care about things as much as you do… but will care about other things more than you thought they would. It’s easy to assume that your partner might not care about the cake, décor or flowers when it comes to your wedding. It’s also easy to assume that they’ll really want to book the DJ and sort out your honeymoon. However, making assumptions is never a good idea, so before you come to your own conclusions, ask! Have an honest conversation about what you’re interested in, and then divide up the jobs you’re not that fussed about so that no one feels like they’re doing it all.

Play to your advantages

If one of you is more creative, then it makes sense for that person to take on décor and styling, whereas those who are more spreadsheet-driven may want to handle anything relating to the budget. Unless you’re a (Virgo) control freak (like me!), and then that’s a separate (honest) conversation altogether!

Set regular catch-up meetings

You’re probably wondering ‘why?’ when you already live together. But organising weekly or fortnightly get-togethers/catch-up meetings for wedding planning (as a team) will ensure you’re both fully present in any decisions that need making and correspondence that needs attending. Having this dedicated time (together) to get focused on the wedding will also (hopefully) mean that you won’t talk about your wedding ALL the time.

Set up a joint email

Do you want to be sorting through work emails, energy bills and unfeasibly large amounts of spam to find that confirmation email from your caterer that you know you’ve seen somewhere? No, no one does. Having a shiny new wedding-specific email is a great idea regardless, but having a joint email that you both have access to will ensure you’re both in the loop.

Be honest

Harking back to communication here folks. Be open and honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and always ask for help/input when needed, especially if you think one of you is doing the lion’s share of the admin. Getting matters off your chest when they arise may stop them from snowballing into a full-blown row. Saying that, though…

Don’t worry if you have an argument

Sometimes, you’re just not going to see eye to eye over certain things. It’s normal and completely understandable if a disagreement culminates in an argument (and way better than letting things fester). Move on, apologise, make up and note what caused the argument in the first place to avoid similar arguments happening again.

Take some time out together

Don’t lose sight of why you’re getting married in the first place. Your relationship is more than a wedding, so while it’s important and a current priority, remember to take some time out from planning together—together being the optimum word here. This is especially important in the final few weeks leading up to your wedding, as stress levels can and will start to build up.

Compromise

Planning a wedding involves making a LOT of decisions, so it’s normal not to agree on every last detail. The important thing is figuring out how to plan an event you’re both happy with, even if it means a bit of give-and-take. You don’t need to agree on everything to be a fantastic team – it’s all about healthy compromises and remembering that you’re in this together.