If we were to marry again…

We married on the 16^th of October 2004, having met at university 16 years earlier. The night before our wedding, I stayed at home with our son Stan, then nine months, my parents and three sisters while Will was at the other end of the village in his childhood home, The Farmhouse.

Our wedding morning was overcast, but I was woken up with a breakfast tray and all three sisters perched on my bed, as well as a little Stan crawling around.  It was a perfect start.  I wasn’t nervous at all – there were constant distractions with people coming and going. I set myself up in the bedroom for hair and make-up while Will was in a quiet part of the farm writing his speech. There were a couple of disappointments – my hair wasn’t quite how I planned it. I’d wanted it piled up into a messy updo, and it was a bit too neat. And the colour of my bouquet wasn’t right. I’d chosen a dusky pink antique-looking rose with a hint of vintage gold, but when it arrived, it was predominantly bright yellow roses. Neither of these things mattered, though. I was on my way to the church to marry Will, surrounded by my closest family and friends, and I couldn’t have been happier.  I often advise couples not to sweat the small stuff; there’s so much ‘loveliness’ going on during the wedding day, and often the little quirks contribute to making the day so special!

We got married at St Mary’s church just beyond the Tythe estate and walked into the grounds of Tythe for our reception. With a strong family tie to the church, having grown up next door, it was important to Will to have the service there. But we could have held a civil ceremony at Tythe, too. We sort of missed a trick!

There are so many places around the Tythe estate for the ceremony, whether it be civil, humanist or celebrant-led – by the double height Thatched Barn doors and wisteria aisle; in front of the Arbor with views onto open countryside; near the ruins or on The Farmhouse lawns under the giant Willow tree. The vows and official ceremony part of your wedding day are so important; don’t allow it to get eclipsed by all the other fun styling, food and drink decisions you’ll be making.

We married in October and all the colours of autumn were starting to creep across the estate, providing a glorious backdrop to our day. This time of year is typically bright with a lovely freshness in the air, and up until at least the third week in October, the gardens are still full of leaf and foliage. Back in 2004, I didn’t really consider a winter wedding. It wasn’t a particularly popular time of year for weddings back then, and yet now it’s so magical – one of my favourite seasons for a wedding.

The barns are cosy with our fairy lights, wood burners and candles, and the gardens look so romantic lit by hundreds of festoon lights. If we’d chosen a spring wedding and married in May, our wisteria aisle would have been in full bloom. Having seen this mature over the years and witnessed some of the most spectacular weddings beneath this lush, lilac canopy, I must admit that today, a May wedding would be high on my agenda.  It’s one of the most unique and beautiful parts of the Tythe estate.

You’re only doing this once, and finding a dress that works perfectly for every part of your wedding celebrations can be very hard. Explore and experiment with different looks and consider all parts of your day. And remember, it is your day so choose a dress that suits you. A statement-making gown that feels ideal for the ceremony may be too cumbersome for the dancefloor.

Likewise, that thigh-skimming party dress may not be as comfortable as you hoped during the three-hour wedding breakfast. I discovered a small boutique in Bath where I tried on an Edwardian-style dress, which I absolutely loved but felt might be too ‘out there’. So, I also tried on a simple, empire-line silk dress, and after three weeks of deliberating between the two, I settled on the safer option. I should have been braver and stuck with the one that felt more like me.  It’s something I’ve heard from several brides over the years.

With 150 guests, we had a big wedding, and I am so glad we did, but the couple indeed spend much of their day saying hello to their guests. If friends and family have travelled from afar to join you on your special day, it feels only right to spend some time with them.  At Tythe, we build in ‘breathers’ for our couples when we quietly whisk them off to a secluded spot to catch their breath and enjoy a few minutes alone. The trend towards longer weddings, two to three days, helps take the pressure off, but guest numbers are a big consideration and not just about the food and drink budget. Post-Covid, there has been a move towards smaller, decadent celebrations with fewer guests and an increased spend on the ‘guest experience’.  Consider if you want everyone there to share your day and to spread the budget across a large celebration, or would you prefer a more intimate gathering with a higher spend on pre-dinner cocktails, an extended wedding breakfast, post-dinner shots and a variety of entertainment throughout the day and evening?

With all the above in mind, nothing is truer than the warning that your wedding day will pass in a flash. It is over too soon, and the months (sometimes years!) of planning will be behind you. We had a one-day wedding, which was the norm back then, but now it’s the first thing I would change. I wanted to spend more time with the people I love most and indulge in the wonderfulness of ‘our wedding’, and that’s often not possible when you have so many guests to welcome and thank, a photographer’s shot list to get through, the speeches and all the other traditions (new and old) that you’ll want to observe.

We can accommodate as many days as you would like to spend at Tythe, but we have an incredible two-night package perfect for most couples who agree that 24 hours is often not long enough!

The Farmhouse did not exist in its current state when we got married. It was still a family home and unavailable to our wedding guests at the time. But today, it’s a luxuriously re-imagined seven-bedroom country house for as long as you and your wedding party are with us. And if you need to squeeze a couple more of your favourite people in, it has a stylishly furnished and cosy Shepherd’s Hut on the lawn, too. The night of our wedding, we stayed at The Randolph in Oxford (there was a fire alarm at around 3am, so we had to assemble outside in the cold October rain!) What is wonderful today is knowing that our couples can share a special dinner around the Farmhouse table the evening before their wedding, come together again for breakfast on the morning of their special day, get ready together and afterwards, relive all the highlights over a lazy brunch.

On the morning of my wedding, I got ready at our home, but I wish I’d had a dedicated space (or two!) on site. We offer a variety of getting-ready spaces at Tythe for both wedding parties. The Farmhouse dressing room has a large makeover area with its own Champagne station next to the main honeymoon suite. Or, for total privacy, brides can check into The Nook, a standalone converted barn with its own en-suite, hair and make-up area and a relaxing dressing room with all the space you need for you and the girls to get ready. It’s often a real highlight of the stay, and having not had it myself, I can see why. Our grooms are well catered for with the decadent Court Room offering a relaxed setting, luxuriously kitted out with rustic wood-panelled walls, leather armchairs, a drinks trolley and a vintage pool table! 2025 will also see the launch of The Lodge – an additional space dedicated to the groom and his groomsmen.

Adding a dress code or theme to a wedding day is becoming popular again. The weddings that we host that have a dress code often feel very unified. It doesn’t have to be complicated or expensive, but it is one of the quickest ways of making your guests all feel part of something special. Not everyone is invited to your wedding day, after all! For our wedding, Will asked the men to come in Morning Suits – seeing them make an effort was fun. For female guests, it could be something as simple and easy to achieve as a colour palette or summer florals – seeing how guests interpret a dress code is also a great conversation starter.

Attending a friend’s or family member’s wedding requires a financial investment from every one of your guests, so investing time in considering ways to thank them with thoughtful and detailed touches throughout the day won’t go unnoticed. That might be bespoke cocktails in our walled gardens, bringing some fun to the late afternoon with garden games, a portrait artist or surprise gourmet moments – like edible strawberries hanging from our pergola. It’s often these touches over everything else that they remember and appreciate. Tythe offers a long list of ideas and inspiration to add unique touches to your day; tap into our 25 years of experience and let us help you create the most spectacular wedding story.